yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
