highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
