all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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