sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
