i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
