You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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