He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
