In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
3pm strippers are depressing
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
