Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
