My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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