her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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