i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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