is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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