How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
