Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
