weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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