so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
