accomplished twins. life is a go
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
