Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
