speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
