i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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