Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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