the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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