Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
