It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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