if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Randomize
