ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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