Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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