I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
