i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
