Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I want to make a zoo with you.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
