hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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