We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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