Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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