Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize