Got a toothbrush?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
