Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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