All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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