I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
