sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
being pregnant is like rehab
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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