then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
