Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
