I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
