i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
