I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
