Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
