Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
