im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
