I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
