Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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