on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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