I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Also, beer. Big fan.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
