I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
