The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My pussy is not your playground.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
