eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize