last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
