and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
