I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
