I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
