this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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