Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
vagina is talking i cant
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
