did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Dignity is for republicans.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
