Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
