I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize