bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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