I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
