there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
