I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
