And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
