And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize