Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
