I just cut my nipple shaving
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
