It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
