A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He shit in the fireplace
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