did you get engaged???
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
