tell your sister to shave her snatch
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
