Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we're making bets on your personal life
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize